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    The Eccentric Anima's Legacy

    Toejam
    Toejam


    Posts : 1049
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    Post  Toejam Sun Oct 02, 2016 1:10 pm

    Pages 1-13:
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    Post  Toejam Sun Oct 02, 2016 1:13 pm

    Pages 13-26:
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    Post  Toejam Sun Oct 02, 2016 1:14 pm

    Pages 26-35:
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    Post  Toejam Sun Oct 02, 2016 3:21 pm

    In truth, I didn't have much intention to return here. It's...ugh. For various reasons. Truth of the matter is that not...all people are as bad as I make them out to be. Rather, not all people are as bad as others. There are some who would lay down their weapons and lower their heads to me...though my position is not defined and they much more successful in their own merits. They honour me...moreso than even I think that I deserve and at the very least I could try to show them the same amount of respect.
    So I'm here. I won't say I'm here to stay, as I'm almost certain things will change in the near future...and being here has its own costs to my own success. But for now at least I'll do this much, so I'll try to lighten up a bit and talk about TEAL, Hero and everything in between.

    Fire the Headcanons!:
    Toejam
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    Post  Toejam Sat Oct 15, 2016 9:35 pm

    Alright, alright, I get it. I'm so...baffled I don't even know what to say. What in the seven hells do people want?!
    I mean, no matter what I've said or done it seems people's problem with me just is...unfathomable. Am I really so deplorable that people can hardly withstand my very presence? Am I truly so detestable that my very existence is a bother?
    I mean, sure, I made plenty of jokes about it in the past but I did so with the hope that the crushing weight of the reality of the matter wouldn't make me want to die.

    But let's be honest here. Whatever reason I've been born in this place, in this age and have been through all of this doesn't matter even a little. Who truly cares? Do you even care what I have to say now? Does any of it matter? No probably not. So if you don't care, you can go ahead and stop reading this right now.

    If for some reason you do however, let me make it clear. I want to quit. Rather than just quitting I'd rather some kind soul go ahead and solve everyone's problem. Burn me at the stake, throw me into the atlantic, put a bullet through my head, I don't care! I'm sick of these passive-aggressive dismissals of my existence every single goddamn day.
    I will not try to get friendly with another person. I will not speak unless spoken to in public. I won't even visit the places I used to frequent. And this one...? I don't want to be here anymore. Everyone left, and if you still haven't guessed why it's because I was here. This is what happens. This is what always happens and always will happen.
    The idea of ever getting close to another person terrifies me. Even the people I was once close to...anyone. I'm not like you, or them, or whoever. It doesn't matter where or when or what they look like.

    So whatever means you sought me out with, put it to rest. My story is over. Or rather it should've been long before any of this began. I don't care if I'm detested. I don't intend to, nor expect to be liked, desired, or even pitied. Hate me if you must, even more so if it makes any of this simpler to take in. This is the way things need to be, and anyone who says otherwise would likely change their mind if they had been in my presence long enough.

    If my life has taught me anything, it's that the world does not want me, nor does it need me and by that extension whatever the hell I represent. However, assuming that I exist, there will be or should be someone else who will fulfill the role I occupy. I'm probably just talking out my ass. But if it were true, how far would you be willing to go? Would you be willing to fulfill my wish? I'm sure the chains of morality could only hold back so many people when the weight of the world sits on the other side of the balance.

    Sadly, I'm not a moral being...or at least not as much as a human should be. I likely fail to qualify as a human, if it makes you feel any better. Do as you will. I'm sure the world will keep on turning.
    The only one who may take issue with your actions is my cat, since he seems to be the only one who can stand me at all.

    I hope my previous warnings did some good at least. Not that I intend to rub salt into an open wound--but I just want to make sure that my message is clear now more than ever. We stand divided. The line has long since been drawn and so I'm finally going to oblige. Now once more, the world is in the hands of the people and the ball in their court. So? What will you do? I don't mind waiting.
    Toejam
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    Post  Toejam Wed Oct 19, 2016 4:14 pm

    I know I said I wouldn't return here. In such a case I would say it would be against my better judgement to do so...but even I know that would be a blatant lie. Perhaps not all would see the truth to, but many would, of that, I'm certain.
    As always, people aren't often interested in what wisdom I'll depart through such a means and if so you can avert your eyes and your attention. But know this, both within and without my writing, the knowledge I intend to impart upon you is one and the same.

    There's plenty I can't say about my situation due to how precarious it is. If I could it would certainly make things easier but...that's not the case.
    So let me put it another way. People are against me talking about myself, but I am the only person I can talk about openly without causing a stir. No more politics for me.
    Anyway, on with the example: So no matter where you look, chances are you've realized how much our world has changed...especially through the media. The creators of the content we so look forward to aren't just names anymore. They've become faces, they've become people we can actively communicate with through various means of social media and all sorts of other means. Video streams and live streams, Twitter, Instagram, whatever. They're people who impact our lives and we impact theirs. This is a major part of most societies nowadays and my studies(not personal studies but actual educational studies) talk about this very fact. This is the face of our society. And you know what else?

    That face isn't always pretty.

    There are a lot of hard, ugly truths that accompany the facts. How do we face these? How do we overcome them? Who and what will be affected and how can we contribute? These are questions we should all ask ourselves.
    I'm probably in no position to be speaking like this, but these are certainly things I have asked myself. It's why I would swallow my pride and return here...because I know...I understand and I've agonized over it for years.
    But I also want you to understand that in spite of everything you might know or believe about the way the world works, that there is indeed a face behind these messages. The stories I tell aren't just things that are made up, mind. Just like your favourite Youtuber, that artist you follow on Twitter or that person that writes your favourite poetry on whatever site, there is a face behind all of them and through their words and actions you come to understand something or many things about them. It forges a bond between the looker and the actor. I can't stress enough the importance of it.
    I'm sure you know that already, but not everything can be told at a glance.

    Because it was requested was not the only reason I wrote TEAL, Another or ATAP. I never have actually said it to anyone, but Kana was one of the most complex characters I had ever brainstormed, but like all things I've done, it would take more time for her character to properly unfold in its entirety. I hope that TEAL showed that somewhat, but it barely scratches the surface of what she truly is like. I did it from the eyes of an observer, that being Talin and his dishonest disposition about her doesn't truly cover her traits. But that's his character and something they all embrace about him. If I can convince myself to stay here for long enough I'd like to do an in-depth analysis of her character where I can talk about her as an author, the bits of her backstory that I never spoke of and what we don't know about the situations presented in the things we have here, things that aren't and especially in TEAL.

    There are a couple more things I'd like to talk about. If my plans go awry which they're won't to do, I'll stay longer--regardless of whether they do or don't, I'll likely cover what I have in mind later, but to address the issues in my life first are my priority, if possible. But that's the present and I've nothing to teach through that, so I'll leave that out.

    Let me tell you an old story. Perhaps one you've heard before or know already, but one that will always remind me that...people can change. If they really and truly wish to...and the value of those who would take the chance to offer them that opportunity.

    Now, back in my teenage days I was...pretty bad. Not rebellious teenager bad, but nihilistic prick bad. If my last post here was any indication, it's that sometimes the skeletons come out of the closet. I'd had some bad experiences and I was to blame for some of them. Perhaps some were undeserved, but...to find someone to blame wouldn't exactly bring me some form of satisfaction, really.
    Anyway I'd met somebody. We lived in different cities but we were cool. We'd talk about shit and game once in a while. We got close and started talking over the phone. I didn't say much back then 'cause my thing was glaring at people. They didn't like me and I loathed them. Life goes on, you know.
    That person didn't give a crap about my faults nor my bark that was worse than my bite. They'd share all sorts of secrets with me or would confide in me if something happened. Even about the personal things. I didn't think I was the best person to ask, but to be trusted with that was...new. Sooner or later I started helping with patching up relationships and whatnot. To be able to be of some help to that person meant the world to me.
    You'd probably guessed it by now but yeah, it was one-sided.
    Anyway some shit happened and then that person vanished. The end.

    Moral of the story is that there's something to be learned here. Now you know something about me. You don't need to care, you could if you want, it doesn't matter. More importantly than that, I want you to consider how that affects your personal life. As I said before, the reality can be harsh. You might have a fight with someone and go your separate ways, but know that you won't always get the chance to make up with that person. Sometimes they'll go out of your reach...and sometimes you'll never see them again because someone or something laid a claim to their life. And just like that, they're out of yours...or everyone's. Your words would have to remain unspoken.

    As you read Frequency, TEAL, or anything else by me I want you to consider these things. True, they're kinda mediocre fanfiction...but I want the experiences within them to be as real as they are in real life. If it isn't already obvious, I'm not a very emotional person. The world can indeed shape the man. Writing this, however requires me to dig into the deepest parts of my psyche to look upon painful experiences, loss both in life and death and emulate them--so that my readers might see the world through my eyes, but without the bloody and bleak outlook I often have. There is hope in this work...but giving it a form is no small feat.
    I've still such a long way to go but...there is someone I can think of right off the bat who can truly capture the painful, at times beautiful and magnificent feelings of raw emotion through words. That is something I yearn to do, but need to learn from their example and find out how I can do so in a way that fits someone like me.

    Nevertheless, leaving aside the author's side of things here, take what I've said today and look at my work through new eyes if you've as of yet been able to see everything as it is--then once more to see what it can be. Amata's story is a great place to start and though I can't say too much about it, it does face some of these very themes. Those that follow will also hit heart-rending notes, or so I hope as different characters face their own challenges.

    So this time...let me speak how I truly feel. We're all in a very difficult situation, but this is...life. More or less. We rely on each other--we all do. We're all bound in one way or another and as take we give back in whatever means we can. I'm uhh...a little embarrassed to admit it but this is one way I can do so. Not this, mind! Well maybe this but...you know.
    Anyway I'm...here, for now. There are people who would give for me, so I'll make an effort to extend them that same courtesy.

    Though I do have to say, as terrible as it may sound, as a popular artist once said, there's beauty in the breakdown. I'm sure someday I'll get to appreciate that in the fullest extent, but let's make an effort to prevent that, shall we?
    Toejam
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    Post  Toejam Wed Oct 19, 2016 6:06 pm

    I feel like I'd brought this upon myself but...my plans didn't go accordingly so here I am still. There's no easy road for me is there? Life's hella unfair.
    So, shall we?

    Let's Talk About Kana(For All):

    Anyway, before I start spoiling things I'm gonna GTFO. Idk what I'll do the next time I come back. I'm conflicted between skipping the reviews and going right into the overview and well...vice versa. Hopefully this at least gives you a better perspective on Kana's character. A lot of thought went into her, I just never really...you know, actually covered it. At least not so in-depth. It's just subtle little details in the actual stories.
    So yeah! That's it! Goodbye! For now? I guess???
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    Post  Toejam Mon Oct 24, 2016 2:36 pm

    Despite what I said before I'm not actually here to do that. However, I'm going to share with you the links to the original documents for Project H/H.
    Before I do however, lemme clarify a few things. Technically there IS 3 versions of it, but V1 and V2 are almost exactly the same. I think? Scratch that, after reading it over I realized that I overhauled the characters after a discussion with some of the others. I'll post it here too.
    That's not the important thing I wanted to cover, though. In V2, Talin's meeting with Heinrichter speaks about the lore of their world in great detail. The thing about this is that it's...well it's  HUGE spoiler. I mean, like...125%. No holds barred. Absolute Spoilerdom. For Sanc, at that. Sort of? To give it more context, it talks about something, vaguely, regarding the stories in God Ah's Larghissimo. It also explains quite a lot about a certain race prior to having their names changed so...you know, discuss with care? Or don't discuss it at all, because it's my shame in a digital format lol. Read if you're curious, read if you wanna formulate ideas or read if you're just bored. But again, try to keep any potential spoilers/theories under wraps so those who don't want to know don't have to.
    The other thing I want you to remember is that as each version is a separate entity in and of itself, not all things mentioned will hold ground in the next. V3 was the last one I had done, and that was, more or less the closest to the canon as possible.

    Now then, without further ado:
    (Btw, if you have any doubts ab out the legitimacy of these links, I can assure you with 66% accuracy that I am probably, most definitely not a robot that would send you a virus via google docs.)
    Hero V1:

    Hero V2:

    Hero V3:

    Birthday(Tea) Party:

    Ahh...I knew the day would come. That or I'd never hear the end of it. It's been five years since I started this project. Three years since I dropped it. Suppose its time that I let it go. Still, in it I left a part of me, my memories and a part of Frequency. With me I carry a small part of it in the form of Talin and Skuld. As I've mentioned before, though the work may have been discarded, it certainly isn't forgotten. I guess carrying a bit of things from everything I do helps me to remember them as I age.
    Before I go back to the Sanc forums there's one more bit of trivia I'll share with ya.

    She wanted her trophy:

    Anyway that's all I have to say on this matter for now! I've gotta get back to the Sanc forums 'cause I'm being rushed. There's only like 20 missing pages though??? Hope you enjoyed these little trivia tidbits at least!

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