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    Re: Sanctuary

    Post  TJ on Wed Feb 01, 2017 6:16 am

    And so the story goes:
    Let's talk, shall we?

    I'm sure you could imagine why I haven't been back here. I've talked about this over the years but it seems that things have only gotten increasingly worse for me. I'm not averse to change. I have...constantly. I still do to this day just so I can meet the ever increasingly difficult criteria thrust upon me. My entire life's work has pointed to this. If I've learned anything, it's that there's something inhuman...or at least different about me and that very fact causes a silent discord between me and other people. My presence is a toxin to them and that fact cannot, under any circumstances, be changed.
    I've taken preventive measures over the past four years but we've hit a brick wall. Up to this point, I've made a home nestled in the bones of those who would house me and moved on the breaths of those who believed in my potential. That cannot be the case any longer, however; there is no shortage of people acting as gatekeepers to the places I would once go. Even more so to the places where I am now.
    All of my research has taught me that my presence can only be withstood for a very brief period of time and too much of it is unwanted. It's nothing short of being as oppressive as the desert sun. But even a few minutes under it is too much, now.

    This is the dilemma. My dilemma. Your dilemma. Ideally, we could work out some way for co-existing, but our world isn't ready for such a dramatic change. We're steeped in tradition that goes back to the beginning of time, whether we realize it or not. In order to continue that tradition and usher in the beginning anew, sacrifices must be made. In so doing, the gatekeepers need to stand down.
    I'm not even angry, or sad, or worried. I know my fate and what it entails. Wordlessly people have told me what it is, every single day for the past two years. If that's what it is, then so be it. But I'm well aware that my life is hardly my own anymore--that it rests within the hands of the people who want to control my fate. And so they have. Every day, new rules have been imposed upon me that have limited me so much that I can hardly exist without interfering with someone else in a negative way.
    To that illness...there is but one cure.

    And so? I ask this of you. Entrust my fate to me. Let me be the one that holds the cards and should I see it fit, be the cure to what ails us all. Rather then no choice, there should be at least two. Your ultimatum, from me to you. A cure to our dilemma, or the slow deconstruction of what once was.
    In all honesty, it hardly makes a difference to me. The way things are headed, I don't see much change in the future--that is, for the better. We'll regress, more and more. If not that, then we'll remain stuck where we are, just like I've been for all these years. Together, we'll create my ideal ice world.

    On a more related note, that is, to my works, as you could imagine progress has been slow, at best. My muse ran screaming nearly a year ago and has been reluctant to return since. That still remains the case. Just as it was in 2013, I feel I've hit a brick wall but can continue through sheer force of will. For whatever it's worth.
    I have done some writing. Just short chapters that I call interludes that happen between the main story's events. Things that bridge the gap between scene changes. The last one I did however, was actually an idea I had for chapter 9 that I scrapped. Still a little awkward-it didn't likely fit the tone for the chapter anyway. Whether they're canon or not, I leave that up for debate. They're good practice nonetheless and rather self-gratifying.
    Nonetheless, in order to grant the wish of some, I'll move this perpetual storm I call my presence...for now. For a time. I hope soon, to quell it, but for the time being I'll try to have something to show. So for whatever it's worth, lie to me, won't you? We'll just pretend the hedgehog dilemma doesn't exist.

      Current date/time is Wed Jan 17, 2018 5:06 pm